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Rumi said: “God turns you from one feeling to another and teaches by means of opposites, so that you will have two wings to fly, not one.”

Yesterday, there was more No than Yes, more darkness than light, more fear than joy. Sure, I did my day. I went through the paces and checked some things off my list. I went to work, I had some meetings, I went to yoga, I connected with friends. I had a good sweat, even made a healthy dinner for myself. But it was a struggle. I felt puffy, out of sorts. Anxious and heavy. The whole day, from the moment I cracked my itchy hay fever eyes with a groan to my last small sigh before sleeping, was just harder than most.

Today, I woke early, effortlessly, the sun streaming through my bedroom window. Today is a Yes. I worked out, I laughed, I made myself a delightful breakfast. I ate it, slowly, in the sunshine. I watched little children play in my back yard. I read an arty magazine. I found a check in the mail instead of a bill. There is just as much to do today as always. And certainly, in the world, as much darkness as ever. But in my day I find an irrepressible lightness.

And the thing is, yesterday could have been just as joyful as today. Or the sweet events of today as clouded with anxiety and doubt as yesterday’s. Perhaps it is true that we, and we alone, create our happiness. That it is a choice, each day, to live in joy. And perhaps, equally true, is that we need our Yes days and our No’s. Two wings to fly.

And small sandwiches.

• • • • • • • • • • • • •

Avocado, sprouts & tomato (1st of the season – delicious!) with Sun Valley Spicy Sweet Mustard on toasted Bhutanese red rice bread
Sweet: Organic peanut butter, fresh strawberry compote & sliced strawberries on toasted Bhutanese red rice bread

Earl Red Tea from Samovar



bhakti flow teacher training april 2008

I, and the beautiful yogis in this pictures, just finished up a month long Bhakti Flow yoga teacher training with Rusty Wells. It was intense, and challenging, and amazing. We stretched (inside and out), and sometimes cracked right open. We taught and learned and forgot and taught and learned some more. We sat, and sang, and laughed and cried. We connected. We inhaled. And exhaled. We trusted and we questioned. We stood on our feet, and on our hands, and on our heads. Boy did we sweat. We gave and we received. We opened. We opened. We opened.

And now, I have a new community of friends, a clearer voice, a stronger more flexible body, and a softer heart.

I am so grateful.

And who knows, I just might teach some yoga!


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Okay, so I’m doing a little spring cleanse right now. I know, I know, where’s the blog entry on that? It’s coming. The brief re-cap is that for the month of April, I’m sticking to fruits, veggies and whole grains, plus some legumes and nuts here and there as I crave them. I’m doing some other things too (like making stuff instead of buying stuff), and so far it feels great, but this afternoon I really wanted something creamy and delicious. No, I mean like I reallywanted it.

I sat with my craving for 15 or 20 minutes. I tuned in. I asked myself if what I was really craving was a good yoga class or a massage or a kiss (yes, yes, and yes please!). I decided that while all of those things sounded fabulous, I wanted to enjoy all of them AFTER eating something yummy. These were my requirements:

  • Be made of real, whole foods (and not too many of them)
  • Be delicious and creamy (and hopefully a little bit sweet!)
  • Be gentle on the tummy (‘cuz that’s just how I roll…)

This is what I came up with:


1/2 med. frozen organic banana
handful of papaya (peeled and cubed)
2 T hemp seeds
8 oz (or so) of water
a couple of ice-cubes (if i’d frozen my papaya too I would have left these out)
a teensy tiny pinch of sea-salt
1/2 tsp. or so of grated fresh ginger (or more if you like it spicy)
a splash of vanilla

Blend it all up until it’s creamy and frothy and the hemp seeds have become thoroughly milkified.

Delicious, right? So hemp (not just for smokin’, people) is a total superfood. It has an ideal balance of Omega 3 and 6 for sustainable human health, has a full amino acid spectrum meaning it provides complete protein, and has a massive trace mineral content.

Ol’ Chris Columbus called papaya “the food of the angels”, and though I’ll admit it took me a few years to warm up to the celestial fruit (I may or may not have flung one from my plate over a fence in my youth to avoid eating it for breakfast one morning…), I’m now a huge fan both of it’s sweet musky flavor AND of its protein digesting enzyme Papain. They make digestive supplements out of the stuff, but wouldn’t you rather just eat it?

So far in this little wonder snack, we’ve got the protein, minerals and good fats, PLUS the enzymes to digest them. Add ginger, which is anti-inflammatory and soothing to the tum-tum, and bananas, which aside from just being super delicious and notoriously easy to digest, are packed with potassium, fiber, and fruity sweetness, and voila: nutritious, delicious, energy packed, creamy, frothy whole food goodness. Who says cleansing can’t be fun?



FEED office

Okay, so I know it’s been AGES since I’ve written anything. It’s not that I haven’t been thinking or cooking or dreaming or scheming. I have. I’ll prove it to you by being much more consistent in the coming months. Promise.

Here’s the thing. I’m starting my own business and I love it. It’s hard to really describe the feeling of knowing, really just knowing deep down in your roots, that you’re doing what you’re meant to be doing here on this planet. Or at least that you’re on the right path. Walking the right direction, with intention and bravery – toward your passion. And here’s the other thing. It’s freaking terrifying sometimes. Really. Terrifying. It’s also more work than I ever could have imagined. I mean people try to warn you, right? But you can’t really listen because you would never ever sign up for this. And also because, sort of like having a child I’d imagine, you can’t possibly tap into the natural motivation and drive that keeps you going every day until you have the cute, drooling little bugger, and then you realize you wouldn’t want to be doing anything else in the world. (Well, okay, let’s be honest – I’d always take a weekend in the Bahamas, but you catch my drift, right?)

So what have I been doing since last I wrote? Working my butt off, that’s what. Mostly I’ve been designing, building, furnishing and otherwise setting up my very first office. (That, and seeing clients, working on the FEED website (coming soon, promise!), designing crazy things for a heart suturing device company and memorizing an anatomy book for my Yoga Teacher Training.) But back to the office. It’s in this really great multi-use building in the Mission District in SF. As my friend Katie commented: “It’s like the office equivalent of a dorm!”, and I guess she’s sort of right. There’s an artist across the hall from me, a designer to the left, 2 little recording studios at the end of the hall, a sculptor, a massage therapist…the list goes on. It’s a cool community of people doing what they love. My space is tiny, but cheap, and perfect for me.

And. Man was it RAW when I moved in. You can look at the pictures if you want confirmation on that, but suffice it to say – rough drywall in need of mudding and sanding, dirty, unsanded plywood floors and a utility sink sticking out of the wall. I had my work cut out for me. And let’s not forget that I’m on a budget (big time). So the goal was to create a warm, inviting, efficient space with not much scrilla. Ready? Go!

I’m not going to pretend that any part of it was easy. I agonized, I designed, I procrastinated, I re-designed, I pulled things out of magazines, I fell in love with things I couldn’t afford, I checked myself, I went to the rummage yard, I painted and repainted (4 times…ok, 5), I ordered things (big things) and sent them back, I tried to do it alone, I enlisted help, I decided I couldn’t afford the help, I tried to do it alone, I decided I couldn’t afford not to have help, I enlisted help, I hammered my fingers and fell off of ladders, I ruined my jeans and blew off social engagements and talked to myself (a-lot), I made friends with the clerks at the paint store, and the hardware store. I ate puffins and trail mix for dinner. I missed yoga and felt like crap. I blasted my music at 3am and did downward dogs while waiting for the caulk to dry. And then I put a chair in, and a light, and my computer. And then one day, I finished!


It’s not perfect. Not even close. But I’m here, and it’s mine, and I love it.


i'm lindsay: holistic health counselor, designer and art director. though my roots are in kentucky i now call san francisco home. i love food and words, elegant design and challenging ideas. i'm a traveler, a used-to-be photographer and an untrained but passionate cook. i am generally a digger and loquacious to a fault. i like to stretch, have a love of the unknown and am a believer in life's fundamental goodness. change is afoot. this blog holds a little bit of it all. "pendant" is the home of my indian travel stories from 2006. "avant" holds some pre-india musings. "apres", despite the title, is my container for the here and now.